Friday, March 28, 2008

Episode 6: Moth

Charlie Pace is sweating a lot and clumsily playing his guitar. Clearly he is wigging out, man, and Locke feels bad for him. He invites Charlie Pace to go on a walk with him to get some fresh air, and Charlie Pace shoots him a look to suggest that the idea that he had been breathing anything but fresh air for the past eight days is idiotic and insulting.

Jack is on the beach to pick up some more supplies to bring back to West Caverberg. He and Kate get in an argument about living in West Caverberg versus the beach house... they're already like an old married couple and they've only known each other for a little over a week. But Kate still has hope that rescue will come. "Look, Kate, no one is coming. This beach isn't exactly a spring break hot spot. MTV isn't setting up their summer HQ here. We're not going to be floating to safety on Kurt Loder's bloated corpse, okay?"

Charlie Pace is just walking around in the forest for the fun of it when he hears what he thinks is Locke but is actually some kind of screeching Pygmy or something... when...


Charlie Pace is bragging to this priest about how much sex he's having because he's a bloody rock star. He acts like he's sorry and wants forgiveness, but come on. He just wants to talk himself up a bit. He acts like he wants to quit the band, probably figures that'll shave off a few dozen Hail Mary's, and on the way out he runs into a band mate that has for him a kickass record deal. If you're gonna be a rock god, might as well live in a church I guess.

Flash forward.

Charlie Pace is running for his freaking life and before he knows it, he's on the quickly growing list of people who's lives Locke has saved. Locke captures the boar that's chasing Charlie Pace in a sweet net. Where he got enough rope to make a net... well, your guess is as good as mine. Charlie Pace, well, he's not interested in guessing. He wants his "bloody drugs back".
Locke: You've now asked me once, but I'm not going to give them back to you. We all have moments of weakness. When you ask me three times, well then...
Charlie Pace: IwantmydrugsIwantmydrugs. Now now now now now.

Meanwhile, on the beach, Sayid, Kate and the future of corporate America are planning on setting up a communications network so they can triangulate where the French lady signal is coming from. They need a battery to make it work and Kate knows just where to look. She forgets about the walkman that Hurley is constantly listen to and enter Sawyer, that asshole guy, for those of you just joining us. He's sitting on a pretty nice nest egg of crap he found.
Kate: Must be hard for you, living like a parasite. Always taking, never giving.
Saywer: Well you see, the young man over there showed me how to set up and run a buisness.
He gives her a battery though, because he's not all bad.

Charlie Pace is back in West Caverberg and he's trying to help out with the move in. He's a little frazzled though and he drops a bunch of stuff including Jack's bag of pills which he immediately starts rummaging through. Jack tells him to take a break and clearly starts suspecting that something is not quite right.


Charlie Pace doesn't want to sign the record contract because he's having too much sex and being too crazy. He finally agrees to sign on the condition that if it gets "too crazy" then they'll walk away. His older brother/bandmate agrees.

Flash forward.

The Koreans are doing something in another language. Something about putting on a damn sweater cause you're half naked. Fat guy tells Charlie Pace to move his guitar and this makes him really mad. I can understand that. There is nothing but space on the island. You'd think they could work around one guitar. Anyways, Charlie Pace goes into the cave and starts yelling at Jack about being disrespectful. "I'm a bloody rock god" and all that. Well, he yells a little too loud and makes the real god of rocks angry and a cave in ensues, trapping Jack inside.

Everyone is understandably upset, for what are they to do without their beloved King Doctor. Charlie Pace, after slaying Jack, declares himself the new King Doctor, "There can be only one King Doctor. I have slain King Doctor Jack. All hail King Doctor Charlie Pace!"

They decide that Jack might still be alive so Charlie Pace runs down to the beach to get some help to save him. Small Business Weekly goes to help, leaving his annoying sister in charge of turning on the antenna and lighting off the signal rocket that Sayid rigged up for him. This is turning into an episode of goddamn MacGuyver. No. I take that back. If MacGuyver was here, they all would have been off the island three episodes ago.


We get our first real listen to Charlie Pace's hit single "You All, Everybody" which has to be one of the worst songs ever written. Charlie Pace is starting to get overwhelmed with the rock star life style and his brother is starting to get way into heroin. It's

Flash Forward.

Michael comes to the rescue at the cave. He worked construction for eight years which somehow makes him on expert on structural stability. Apparently building a Jack in the Box in West Brooklyn makes you an expert on cave in's. Walt wants to find Mr. Locke but Hurley explains that he's out in the forest "killing stuff". There is a quick cut to Locke in the forest playing jacks and singing "Oh La La" by Rod Stewart to himself softly. Michael comes up with a pretty reasonable plan to get into the cave without causing more cave ins and the crew gets to work.

Sawyer finds Kate in the forest to tell her about Jack but at the last second decides not to and they head off to continue their antenna quest.

Charlie Pace finds Locke and tells him about the cave in. Also, in unrelated news, he wants his drugs back. That's two. Instead of giving Charlie Pace his drugs back, he shows him a moth cocoon and starts talking about silk and how moths have to fight their way out of the cocoon to make themselves stronger. Locke could help out the moth by opening the cocoon a little but then the moth would be too weak to survive. Apparently he's trying to get Charlie Pace to forget about his drug craving by telling him the most boring facts he can think of.

The cave digging crew breaks through a little, there's a small hole that they can yell into.
Michael: Jack, we're gonna get you out of there.
Jack: Yeah, okay. Who's out there?
Hurley: Umm... Me, the fat guy, my kid, the asian lady...
Jack: Oh Jesus... Oh Jesus Christ. Isn't there anyone else? That Iraqi solder or the guy who can kill boars? Oh Jesus...

Charlie Pace appears at the perfect moment to crawl in the cave. He points out that he's the only one with nothing to lose and then
Charlie Pace, the once and future King Doctor, enters the cave. The irony is that now the people outside have everything to lose: Charlie Pace.

Sawyer is still trying to sweet talk Kate and then he accidentally lets it drop that Jack's buried in a cave. Kate leaves him with the antenna responsibilites. Sawyer agrees, happy to be part of a main storyline.

As Charlie Pace is crawling through the tunnel, (Flashback!) he thinks back to the worst tie he ever bought, and also some stuff about his brother being a jerk. Charlie Pace kicks all the ladies out of the dressing room and yells at his brother for missing sound check and being drunk and some other stuff. Charlie Pace wants to pull the plug on the whole operation, but his brother continues to be a jerk and tells him that he's useless and there will be no quitting of bands anytime in the near future. This causes Charlie Pace to begin his love affair with drugs and booze.

Flash Forward.

Let's leave sex and drugs behind and return to crawling through caves. Charlie Pace triumphantly makes it to Jack just in time for the tunnel to collapse behind Charlie Pace. Bad news for Jack and Charlie Pace. At least they have some company. They get the big rock off of Jack's arm but Jack is just all around dissappointed with the rescue effort.

Kate's all scared. A little bit about Jack being dead, but also probably a little bit that the new king doctor will be Hurley and she'll have to be his queen. She starts digging frantically.


Charlie Pace goes to visit his older brother who has settled down and started a family and bought some buddy holly glasses and a sweater. Charlie Pace wants to start up the band again, but older brother doesn't want to. How the tables have turned! Also, now Charlie Pace is the one with a drug problem. Charlie Pace storms off to catch his plane.

Flash forward.

Jack knows that Charlie Pace is going through withdrawl and they have a touching heart to heart and talk about death and religion and start praying to the rock god. Just then Charlie Pace sees a "bloody moth" in the cave. He finds a small hole and bursts through the goddamn cave wall, saving himself and also Jack, I guess. Huzzah for Charlie Pace! Now, once again second in line for King Doctorhood.

Kate gives Jack a big hug, and Hurley gives... Charlie Pace a big hug and laughes a lot. It's good to be loved.

Meanwhile, Sayid sets off his rocket and annoying girl almost drops the ball, but she manages to come through for once. We finally see the last rocket that Sawyer was in charge of. Sayid turns on his trangulator thingy and right when he's about to get some answers a disembodied log hits him in the head.

Back in West Caverberg, Jack is helping Charlie Pace go through the withdrawl. Grooming him to be the next King Doctor. Charlie Pace decides to walk off and find Locke, Kate makes Jack a sling out of what looks to be Hurley's old underpants, and Michael and Walt decide they want to live in West Caverberg.

Charlie Pace asks for his drugs back for the third time, and being the reasonable man that he is, Locke gives the heroin back to the shaking drug addict who is now covered in dirt. Charlie Pace shows his true calibur, though, and tosses the bag into the fire. Then he tries to pull it out, burns his fingers, and cries a little, but in the end he's kicked the habit, or he's at least out of drugs. Charlie Pace.



Yogurt the Wisenheimer said...

ALWAYS GOTTA MAKE FUN OF THE FAT KID, HUH??? You're lucky it was funny. Weird how Hurley is never mentioned eating food....yet we haven't seen the Polar Friggin' Bear in a while have we??? Huh?? Have we????? Connection? Oh, yeah, I'm thinkin' 2 + 2 = 4 here.

Charlie Pace. Unfortunately, not really. said...

another sucessful summary of senselessness
oh no! my alliteration will be the death of us all!